Written by Tracy Shirvill
At a recent gathering I was moved by a close friend sharing her gratitude for her father’s guidance in helping her to find her life purpose and supporting her through the ups and downs of embarking on her path. Her sharing prompted more than one of us to think about the relationships we have with our fathers, and those who may not be biologically related to us but have stepped into the fatherly role.
I have heard people say that being a father means being a provider, a role that may be of high importance in your culture or family. However, our fathers – and father figures – play a significant role in who we become, far more than just material support. For good or bad the relationship that we have with our fathers helps to form our character, our values, and our emotional, intellectual, and social development. It forms the way we view our own roles as parents and partners.
With Father’s Day coming this weekend, people may find themselves reflecting on their own experiences of fatherhood. For some Father’s Day is a celebration, an opportunity for the family to come together to share and create memories. For others Father’s Day is a time of grief, whether their own father has died, the relationship between father and child has broken down, or even their own dreams of becoming a father have not come to fruition. It is not a surprise to me when a client discloses experiencing a variety of emotions as the hurt they feel swirls around with the love and happiness they do have in their lives. If this is something that you experience, you are certainly not alone.
This Father’s Day, take some time to reflect on the role your father has played in your life. If you are a father, is there anything that you would like to be doing differently to cultivate a close relationship with your children? And for those for whom Father’s Day is a negative reminder, give yourself permission to do something kind for yourself this weekend.
